What do Las Vegas and Minneapolis have in common?

The Advocate has published the second annual list of cities where gay perople are living, voting, and creating communities. The top two cities represent the two areas we spend the most time - Minneapolis and Las Vegas.

According to The Advocate, "Over the past decade, Minneapolis has become the gay magnet city of the Midwest. It makes sense: People here are no-nonsense, practical, and don’t deal well with hypocrites. This is where the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America took a historic leap forward and voted to accept gay and lesbian pastors, including the Reverend Mary Albing, the denomination’s first openly lesbian pastor. And Minnesota senator Al Franken introduced the Student Non-Discrimination Act to protect LGBT youth from school bullies." I might personally add that this is the home of Lavender Magazine, the largest gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgender publication in the Upper Midwest.

Second on the list is Las Vegas. According to The Advocate and Thomas Roth, President of Community Marketing, Inc, "Las Vegas is the No. 2 most-visited gay and lesbian destination in the U.S, and the No. 1 destination among Gen-X and boomer lesbians.” They go on to say that according to a study conducted by the Travel Industry Association (TIA), Las Vegas ranks as one of the top gay-friendly destinations in the United States second only to New York for the most popular gay vacation destination.

In my previous blog I talked about a local radio announcer who says she isn't against gays but continues to make less than complimentary comments about them. Here's something for the city of Las Vegas republicans to consider - Vegas is a top vacation destination for gays and lesbians. That means money to support the economy. Hmmmm. Do you like them now?

Local Vegas talk show host willing to send DADT troops to Libya

The saying goes that you shouldn’t get in a pissing match with someone who buys the ink or owns the microphone. I think that is pretty close to the truth. They always get the last word and can twist and turn things around to their own liking. I temporarily forgot that small truth and called into a local Vegas radio station yesterday. This wasn’t the first time we called talk show host Heidi Harris at KDWN radio station in Las Vegas. Last time we talked she was on a kick about “tolerating gays” and felt that she was really doing her part because she tolerated them. This time she devoted most of her show to the US involvement in Libya. She was against doing anything in Libya except for a one-day “bomb them and get out of there.” Other talking points were around why we would want to put our troops in harm’s way, we should think about the wives of our military and their families worrying about the danger of doing anything more in another country, cost, etc. During that discussion she slid in a comment, “Let’s send over the DATD.” When I heard that, all I could do was wonder why she would pluck out that minority military group. Oh, let’s send them over because we don’t care if THEY get killed? It was a hateful and mean-spirited statement. Yes, I called her. She threw it back in my face with another question, “Do you think I hate gays?.” I told her that her past words were that she “tolerated them” and that we had that discussion before. Of course, she didn’t remember that Paul and I were on her show last year around this time. We didn’t make a difference then and I wasn’t making a difference now. She ranted at me – I think she called me an idiot – and said what they all (meaning gays) wanted is to be accepted. Well, she wasn’t going to have a gay wedding at her house. She continued to rave about how upset this phone call made her and that she would have to go have a glass of wine after the show to calm down. Hey, Heidi Harris, they were your words, not mine. I was just asking you what you meant by that statement and you went ballistic. I think I was the one who was supposed to be upset. She was very rude to me because I challenged a very cruel statement that she had made. She is deeply entrenched in the tea party and republican political ideology. She is a Catholic girl. She is very predictable and hard core in her beliefs. What did I expect?

If the truth be known, I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal so I don’t have a party in which I can associate with. I think that is true of a lot of people in the U.S. We seem to have only two voices – far right and far left. What about those of us in the middle? I cannot in good conscience say I am either party as they don't represent what I believe. We listen to the Heidi Harris show because we agree on some things she says. She, however, isn’t such a good listener when it doesn’t fit her ideology.

Heterosexism, which the Oxford English Dictionary defines as "discrimination or prejudice against homosexuals on the assumption that heterosexuality is the normal sexual orientation," is how I define people like Heidi Harris and others who believe that they are doing their part by "tolerating" those gays. I don’t know how to educate people who do not have the motivation or desire to become educated. I also will NEVER understand how people can hide behind their religion. I am not a biblical expert but I figure if Jesus wasn’t concerned enough to speak about homosexuality, then it must not have been on top of his list. That’s good enough for me. As a former media specialist, I also know the danger of taking passages out of context. I once had a principal who had all kinds of pages marked for me to read because he felt we shouldn’t have a Judy Blume book in the library. Yes, Judy Blume was a naughty author. I told him when he had read the entire book, we would have a discussion about filling out the FORMS necessary for a reconsideration of this title. Yes, context – what a novel idea. Judy Blume remained on the shelf except for copies that were stolen and thrown away by a teacher who agreed with the principal that Blume books were not acceptable.

So, here I sit at 3:00 in the morning writing this blog. I am frustrated about a lot of things regarding education on gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. It is sometimes difficult to know how to be a good advocate. I shouldn’t have called the radio station. It wasn’t good judgment. She is not going to change her mind and the majority of her listeners agree with her or they probably wouldn’t have her station on at that time. I guess I feel better when I try to make a difference but sometimes I feel the impact just isn’t there. So, good night everyone. Hope you had a good sleep. Oh no, Paul just came out and he read the blog entry. His comments? “Heidi would probably have all the gays over to her house for a big party if they voted Republican.” There just might be some truth in that! One last thing, read the next blog entry and find out how gays are supporting Las Vegas – best not to be too hard on them, Heidi Harris, they are adding revenue.

Target can become a Change Agent

It has been a confusing and upsetting few weeks following the exposure of Target’s contribution to an anti-gay candidate. It was gut wrenching for us to read the articles about a company that we believe is a model for other companies as an inclusive workplace environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender team members. It didn’t sound like the Target we know. It was also disheartening to read that devoted customers have boycotted Target over this issue. I have, however, learned over the years that it is not a good idea to overreact to a situation without some time to sort through the facts.

Paul and I know several team members at Target which of course includes our son, Brad. We have had the pleasure of being engaged with Target through their GLBT Business Council and other activities they have supported over the years. The Target we know is on a constant path toward a full inclusive environment for their team members and their customers. Are they perfect? It is our opinion that they are better than most but none of us is perfect in every situation all the time.

Remember the old saying, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water?” It is a perfect phrase to capture our thinking at this time. We still love Target, we will shop at Target, and we will work with Target when requested to continue to grow their understanding of what an inclusive environment looks like. This has turned out to be an opportunity for Target to get better. Based on the strong reactions from the public, it is obvious that customers and employees of Target want the value of inclusiveness in the workplace and in the Target stores. Gregg Steinhafel, Target CEO, wants to meet with other corporations to work together on an inclusive environment for employees and customers. That is a huge statement and has the opportunity for a much broader impact than just Target. Target has shown their vulnerability but not their inability to grow and change.

There is a reason that our son is so happy at Target and has been for 13 years. If gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders weren’t treated well and fairly, he would not love this company and the people who work there. That is our proof. Secondly, we have been to PRIDE Twin Cities and watched how Target team members create a family environment for the attendees and how they respect each person who visits their area. Target received the Pride award this year for their work for an inclusive environment. They have received an HRC score of 100% the last two years. A Target employee was recognized this year by Quorum, the local LGBT Chamber of Commerce, for their work on an inclusive environment. This is a company whose work has been recognized by organizations who analyze Target’s policies and procedures and feel they are on the right path. They have proven their intention for an inclusive environment. They have given their money and time to GLBT initiatives that exceed the $150,000 they gave to Minnesota Forward.

Target will come out of this a better company. In the meantime Paul and I will watch with interest as they bring their words to action. This is an important time for them and we know they are up to the task.

Christian Gays: Philips Many Thoughts Blogspot

We met a lot of people at Pride this year as we sat at the booth of PFLAG Twin Cities. As a result we have a few recommendations to pass along. The author of Philips Many Thoughts Blogspot is devoted to writing about Christian gays and shares a perspective to consider. The blog address is http://philipsmanythougths.blogspot.com. Many people have been taught that you can't believe in the Bible and accept our gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender men and women. There are a lot of publications and opinions written about this topic which we have studied over the years. This blogspot might be a good start if you are interested in hearing more on this particular issue. Another great resource is the BlueBook which can be found at http://www.pcmk.org. It is published by the First Presbyterian Church of Mt. Kisco, NY. You may read it online (http://www.pcmk.org/blue_book.pdf)or order a hard copy (Info@PCMK.org) This publication answers a lot of questions about being gay and includes a section on Bible verses and their context. Good luck on your personal journey of understanding about how God and Jesus view our gay and lesbian sons and daughters through the written word and actions found in the Bible. Let us know if you want other resources on this topic because we have quite a list!

A Stranger Among Friends by David Mixner

I just finished reading "A Stranger Among Friends" with tears in my eyes and a grateful heart. I was humbled by his work on behalf of all our gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders and those who love them. David was a political activist during the Viet Nam war and eventually became known as a leading gay activist. I am so proud of David Mixner and others who have given so much of themselves to help others. David has lived a selfless life so others can have the rights and acceptance that some of us enjoy without a thought. I wrote to David on Facebook and he was kind enough to respond. I love Facebook for those kind of opportunities.

My next read is Former WI Representative Steve Gunderson's book entitled House and Home. That is going to be my Las Vegas book while Ziggy, our granddog, and I keep each other company while Jaysen and Andrew vacation in Wisconsin! I also ordered a book recommended by an Eau Claire resident entitled Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation With the Gay Community. I'll give you an update on those two titles when I'm done.

2010 Pride Twin Cities Everyday Hero Award

We were nominated and accepted for the 2010 Pride Twin Cities Everyday Hero Award which is designed for unsung heroes. There have been five other winners of this award in past years. We were one of four awards this year from Pride Twin Cities: their Grand Marshal was given to Dr. Stan Hill, Artistic Director for Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus, Target received their Cooperate Achievement Award and PFUND Foundation received their Community Award.

The awards were given at a reception in Minneapolis. They had a display of original artwork for viewing with winners announced that evening. They also had a silent auction - I tried to win but was outbid several times on several items! All four of the award winners were introduced, given their award, and were given a few minutes to share a few thoughts with the attendees.

The second honor bestowed on us from Pride Twin Cities was to ride in the Pride Parade in Minneapolis. Brad and Jay drove us in their convertible and took many photos along the way. They estimate 150,000 people attended the parade with up to 1/2 million attending the various events throughout the weekend. It is the 3rd largest PRIDE parade in the United States and the largest in the Midwest. It was a special moment for us and it reminded us once again that our work is appreciated. You can see photos of the parade on our Ready or Not Facebook Fan Page.

Throughout the weekend we promoted PFLAG Twin Cities at Loring Park. PFLAG was marketing their new webpage and the ground-breaking discussion forum. Paul and I are monitoring the Parent Discussion Group and are members of several other groups. Imagehaus designed some clever cards in the form of a ticket to help get people engaged in the website - 2,000 were distributed throughout the weekend. The good people from PFLAG were on hand to discuss PFLAG, the website, and talk with others about their individual questions or concerns. We were happy to be a part of the PFLAG family. We contributed a portion of our book sales to PFLAG.

It was a PRIDEFUL weekend!

Press Release of PRIDE Award Winners: http://www.tcpride.org/index.php/get-involved/pride-awards

Lavender Magazine Pride Award 2010

June is PRIDE month and is designated as a time to honor our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender men and women. As a parent of two gay sons and advocate, we take every opportunity to do so, especially this month. Lavender Magazine has been incredibly generous to us over the past year and once again showed their ongoing commitment to their mission by issuing their annual Pride Awards. We were in the company of some incredible people and organizations who also shared the Awards stage: Comcast Corporate Award, Bruce Meyers and Gordon Severson for their feature length documentary - It Doesn't Define Us, MN Red Ribbon Ride, Park Tavern for their welcoming business, The Whelihan Experience for artistic expression, and us for our book and the work we do. That evening was especially special because we were in a room with over 200 people with one of our favorites, Bradley Traynor - better known as Wanda, introducing us. The crowd was definitely in its celebration mode but it quieted down for our short speech of acceptance. We talked to several people after the ceremony and went away convinced yet again that our book and our work is important. We were a symbol for some in the room of the support they yearn for in their families, workplace, church and society at large. It is for all of those people and others we have never met that we continue our message of love and acceptance.