Why you should be an ally

We believe in the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”. Ally support of injustices ensures everyone’s ability to have justice. If you were being discriminated against, wouldn’t you want others to stand up for you? Our LGBTs need your help now more than ever.

Silent supporters don’t help lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders (LGBTs). In fact, silence hurts them. We were once a silent supporter. We have evolved over the years starting with little things. For example, now when we hear something that doesn't ring true, we simply said, "What did you mean by that?" Have your strategy ready when you hear inappropriate remarks or statements made as facts that are stereotypical or false. Speak up and of course, do it nicely. If you let those remarks stand, others will assume you agree or that the information is true. Don’t be proud of yourself for supporting LGBTs until you do something, anything, to show that support.

Here is another compelling reason we discovered for allies to speak up on behalf of our LGBTs. We were asked to present to a group of educators in southeastern Minnesota. After we completed our discussion one of the participants said she had heard many presentations on this topic but ours was the best so far. Of course we asked what distinguished our talk and her response was, “You are not a threat to us. You are not an angry gay or lesbian yelling at us because of all the inequalities. You did not preach.” While we understand there is anger(and we are as well), it gave us a clue how important it is to have allies speaking up about today's issues. Sometimes it is received much better by an “outsider” rather than an “insider.” Whether it is marriage equality, employment discrimination or Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the ally voice remains the important voice. Harvey Milk energized the gay community to tell their family and friends the truth about themselves. Now more than ever we need to go to the next step and hear the voice of allies to support, correct misinformation, share stories, and educate. Allies will be the people who make the difference in our future to correct misinformation, stereotypes, and injustices.

Please give sound to your voice today. For more information on how to be an ally, go to Straight for Equality http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=614. Pride month is a good time to start and please, let us know what you are doing.

Dan Savage Blocks Target’s Video “It Gets Better”

We attended two events where Target previewed their new “It Gets Better” video to employees. The team members represented in the video were sincere and their stories heartfelt. You could tell the viewers liked it by their verbal response and by their happy faces. They saw themselves and others they loved in that video. It was a success.

This morning I read Dan Savage’s Slog on Target’s video, “It Gets Better.” His response and others who commented were so consumed by their “Target grudge” that they have forgotten the reason "It Gets Better" was started. In their own words, "The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach -- if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better." I am an ally. I watched the video. The Target LGBTA Business Council accomplished the mission of this project. Secondly, the video was created by the LGBTA Business Council; it wasn't a cooperative scheme to win customers as was insinuated by Mr. Savage. The naysayers disappoint me. I have to say that these comments reflect to me that they really don't care if a video is produced to help young people. They just want to kick the can one more time. Oh, and one more thing. Target stepped up in a very public manner. Where are the other companies in the Twin Cities area? Hmmmmm

What do Joel Osteen and Crystal Cathedral have in Common

As Paul and I listened to two television broadcasts today, Easter Sunday, we couldn't help but feel torn. Rev. Robert Schuller Sr and Joel Osteen give a lot of people hope and spiritual guidance. Their messages are important to many people. In the past we listened with an open heart and used their words to help us to become better Christians - better people.

Now we have become more cynical about their spoken words. Behind their words of love we have an image of nonacceptance of a group of people. They seem to have a ranking of "sins" with being homosexual ranking higher than other sins. Crystal Cathedral choir members need to sign a covenant that they support the church's stand on homosexuals. I wonder if that covenant included not eating shell fish, killing a woman if she was not a virgin on her wedding day, killing a woman if caught in adultery, condemning men who shaved their beards, excluding people from the alter if they had a physical handicap, and the list goes on and on. Joel Osteen says they can't be God's best. Robert Schuller says homosexuals can't be excellent. In fact, we wrote Rev. Schuller a letter about that and he personally responded to us. It didn't change anything.

Our personal philosophy is in tune with Jesus and many great theologians who have said that it is not necessary to take the Bible literally in order to take it seriously. Jesus talked about things that worried him - divorce, remarriage, adultery, hypocrisy, oppression, greed, class structure, accumulation of wealth, etc. but never about homosexuality. If this was a critical issue, why didn't he mention it?

I know this is a broad statement, but one that we believe. The "church" stand against homosexuals is the single biggest roadblock for acceptance of homosexuals. Family members, without a personal study of this issue, will blindly accept their church stand. Lazy? Homophobic? Heterosexism at play? For us it appears to be an easy excuse to disregard gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders for other reasons.

Here is another thought. I just don't want to hang around people who are judgmental and sit in their ivory tower of self-righteousness. We are all imperfect. Being gay is not, however, an imperfection. It is God's plan for them. It is who they were designed to be. They are some of the most wonderful people you could possibly meet in your lives. We are blessed to be their friends and advocates. We will never believe God sits in judgment of their sexual orientation; God and God only sits in judgment of how you live your life as a Christian.

I wasn't expecting to write this blog today but it does seem fitting. Jesus died to forgive our sins. Our position - being gay is not one of those sins. If you believe otherwise, please take the time to study this issue and ask yourself the real reason you may be anti-gay. The Blue Book by the Presbyterian Church, Mt. Kisco, is a great guide and is available for a minimal charge or online at www.pcmk.org.

A Stranger Among Friends by David Mixner

I just finished reading "A Stranger Among Friends" with tears in my eyes and a grateful heart. I was humbled by his work on behalf of all our gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders and those who love them. David was a political activist during the Viet Nam war and eventually became known as a leading gay activist. I am so proud of David Mixner and others who have given so much of themselves to help others. David has lived a selfless life so others can have the rights and acceptance that some of us enjoy without a thought. I wrote to David on Facebook and he was kind enough to respond. I love Facebook for those kind of opportunities.

My next read is Former WI Representative Steve Gunderson's book entitled House and Home. That is going to be my Las Vegas book while Ziggy, our granddog, and I keep each other company while Jaysen and Andrew vacation in Wisconsin! I also ordered a book recommended by an Eau Claire resident entitled Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation With the Gay Community. I'll give you an update on those two titles when I'm done.

2010 Pride Twin Cities Everyday Hero Award

We were nominated and accepted for the 2010 Pride Twin Cities Everyday Hero Award which is designed for unsung heroes. There have been five other winners of this award in past years. We were one of four awards this year from Pride Twin Cities: their Grand Marshal was given to Dr. Stan Hill, Artistic Director for Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus, Target received their Cooperate Achievement Award and PFUND Foundation received their Community Award.

The awards were given at a reception in Minneapolis. They had a display of original artwork for viewing with winners announced that evening. They also had a silent auction - I tried to win but was outbid several times on several items! All four of the award winners were introduced, given their award, and were given a few minutes to share a few thoughts with the attendees.

The second honor bestowed on us from Pride Twin Cities was to ride in the Pride Parade in Minneapolis. Brad and Jay drove us in their convertible and took many photos along the way. They estimate 150,000 people attended the parade with up to 1/2 million attending the various events throughout the weekend. It is the 3rd largest PRIDE parade in the United States and the largest in the Midwest. It was a special moment for us and it reminded us once again that our work is appreciated. You can see photos of the parade on our Ready or Not Facebook Fan Page.

Throughout the weekend we promoted PFLAG Twin Cities at Loring Park. PFLAG was marketing their new webpage and the ground-breaking discussion forum. Paul and I are monitoring the Parent Discussion Group and are members of several other groups. Imagehaus designed some clever cards in the form of a ticket to help get people engaged in the website - 2,000 were distributed throughout the weekend. The good people from PFLAG were on hand to discuss PFLAG, the website, and talk with others about their individual questions or concerns. We were happy to be a part of the PFLAG family. We contributed a portion of our book sales to PFLAG.

It was a PRIDEFUL weekend!

Press Release of PRIDE Award Winners: http://www.tcpride.org/index.php/get-involved/pride-awards

Wagners visit River Falls United Methodist Church

Sunday was a wonderful day in River Falls, WI. We (Paul, Brad & Hjordy) started our day at the United Methodist Church where our former pastor, Janet Ellinger, inspired us with her prayers and words of wisdom. This was followed by a luncheon and our story in the context of a welcoming church. We estimate the crowd at around 50 or more. Paul and I hope we were able to inspire new thinking. We learn from our audience every time we give a presentation. Yesterday was no exception. One of the ideas shared was when and how to be a vocal advocate. For example, is it the right place to say something to someone when you overhear an inappropriate remark about a minority in a restaurant setting? We had some great suggestions on that topic alone. What do you think?

Church members at River Falls showed courage in opening their hearts and minds to the topic of GLBTs in the church setting. We hold a special place in our hearts for Rev. Ellinger and now we know how special her congregation members are.