Why you should be an ally

We believe in the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”. Ally support of injustices ensures everyone’s ability to have justice. If you were being discriminated against, wouldn’t you want others to stand up for you? Our LGBTs need your help now more than ever.

Silent supporters don’t help lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders (LGBTs). In fact, silence hurts them. We were once a silent supporter. We have evolved over the years starting with little things. For example, now when we hear something that doesn't ring true, we simply said, "What did you mean by that?" Have your strategy ready when you hear inappropriate remarks or statements made as facts that are stereotypical or false. Speak up and of course, do it nicely. If you let those remarks stand, others will assume you agree or that the information is true. Don’t be proud of yourself for supporting LGBTs until you do something, anything, to show that support.

Here is another compelling reason we discovered for allies to speak up on behalf of our LGBTs. We were asked to present to a group of educators in southeastern Minnesota. After we completed our discussion one of the participants said she had heard many presentations on this topic but ours was the best so far. Of course we asked what distinguished our talk and her response was, “You are not a threat to us. You are not an angry gay or lesbian yelling at us because of all the inequalities. You did not preach.” While we understand there is anger(and we are as well), it gave us a clue how important it is to have allies speaking up about today's issues. Sometimes it is received much better by an “outsider” rather than an “insider.” Whether it is marriage equality, employment discrimination or Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the ally voice remains the important voice. Harvey Milk energized the gay community to tell their family and friends the truth about themselves. Now more than ever we need to go to the next step and hear the voice of allies to support, correct misinformation, share stories, and educate. Allies will be the people who make the difference in our future to correct misinformation, stereotypes, and injustices.

Please give sound to your voice today. For more information on how to be an ally, go to Straight for Equality http://community.pflag.org/page.aspx?pid=614. Pride month is a good time to start and please, let us know what you are doing.

Dan Savage Blocks Target’s Video “It Gets Better”

We attended two events where Target previewed their new “It Gets Better” video to employees. The team members represented in the video were sincere and their stories heartfelt. You could tell the viewers liked it by their verbal response and by their happy faces. They saw themselves and others they loved in that video. It was a success.

This morning I read Dan Savage’s Slog on Target’s video, “It Gets Better.” His response and others who commented were so consumed by their “Target grudge” that they have forgotten the reason "It Gets Better" was started. In their own words, "The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach -- if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better." I am an ally. I watched the video. The Target LGBTA Business Council accomplished the mission of this project. Secondly, the video was created by the LGBTA Business Council; it wasn't a cooperative scheme to win customers as was insinuated by Mr. Savage. The naysayers disappoint me. I have to say that these comments reflect to me that they really don't care if a video is produced to help young people. They just want to kick the can one more time. Oh, and one more thing. Target stepped up in a very public manner. Where are the other companies in the Twin Cities area? Hmmmmm

A Stranger Among Friends by David Mixner

I just finished reading "A Stranger Among Friends" with tears in my eyes and a grateful heart. I was humbled by his work on behalf of all our gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders and those who love them. David was a political activist during the Viet Nam war and eventually became known as a leading gay activist. I am so proud of David Mixner and others who have given so much of themselves to help others. David has lived a selfless life so others can have the rights and acceptance that some of us enjoy without a thought. I wrote to David on Facebook and he was kind enough to respond. I love Facebook for those kind of opportunities.

My next read is Former WI Representative Steve Gunderson's book entitled House and Home. That is going to be my Las Vegas book while Ziggy, our granddog, and I keep each other company while Jaysen and Andrew vacation in Wisconsin! I also ordered a book recommended by an Eau Claire resident entitled Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation With the Gay Community. I'll give you an update on those two titles when I'm done.

2010 Pride Twin Cities Everyday Hero Award

We were nominated and accepted for the 2010 Pride Twin Cities Everyday Hero Award which is designed for unsung heroes. There have been five other winners of this award in past years. We were one of four awards this year from Pride Twin Cities: their Grand Marshal was given to Dr. Stan Hill, Artistic Director for Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus, Target received their Cooperate Achievement Award and PFUND Foundation received their Community Award.

The awards were given at a reception in Minneapolis. They had a display of original artwork for viewing with winners announced that evening. They also had a silent auction - I tried to win but was outbid several times on several items! All four of the award winners were introduced, given their award, and were given a few minutes to share a few thoughts with the attendees.

The second honor bestowed on us from Pride Twin Cities was to ride in the Pride Parade in Minneapolis. Brad and Jay drove us in their convertible and took many photos along the way. They estimate 150,000 people attended the parade with up to 1/2 million attending the various events throughout the weekend. It is the 3rd largest PRIDE parade in the United States and the largest in the Midwest. It was a special moment for us and it reminded us once again that our work is appreciated. You can see photos of the parade on our Ready or Not Facebook Fan Page.

Throughout the weekend we promoted PFLAG Twin Cities at Loring Park. PFLAG was marketing their new webpage and the ground-breaking discussion forum. Paul and I are monitoring the Parent Discussion Group and are members of several other groups. Imagehaus designed some clever cards in the form of a ticket to help get people engaged in the website - 2,000 were distributed throughout the weekend. The good people from PFLAG were on hand to discuss PFLAG, the website, and talk with others about their individual questions or concerns. We were happy to be a part of the PFLAG family. We contributed a portion of our book sales to PFLAG.

It was a PRIDEFUL weekend!

Press Release of PRIDE Award Winners: http://www.tcpride.org/index.php/get-involved/pride-awards

Lavender Magazine Pride Award 2010

June is PRIDE month and is designated as a time to honor our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender men and women. As a parent of two gay sons and advocate, we take every opportunity to do so, especially this month. Lavender Magazine has been incredibly generous to us over the past year and once again showed their ongoing commitment to their mission by issuing their annual Pride Awards. We were in the company of some incredible people and organizations who also shared the Awards stage: Comcast Corporate Award, Bruce Meyers and Gordon Severson for their feature length documentary - It Doesn't Define Us, MN Red Ribbon Ride, Park Tavern for their welcoming business, The Whelihan Experience for artistic expression, and us for our book and the work we do. That evening was especially special because we were in a room with over 200 people with one of our favorites, Bradley Traynor - better known as Wanda, introducing us. The crowd was definitely in its celebration mode but it quieted down for our short speech of acceptance. We talked to several people after the ceremony and went away convinced yet again that our book and our work is important. We were a symbol for some in the room of the support they yearn for in their families, workplace, church and society at large. It is for all of those people and others we have never met that we continue our message of love and acceptance.

Joel Osteen says our sons are not God's best

I simply cannot let this one pass without comment. Yesterday (Nov 4) Joel Osteen was on The View. Whoopi asked how he feels about folks who are gay. His response was that he believes what scripture says....that (meaning homosexuals) isn't God's best. WHAT? He is telling parents of two gay sons that their sons can never be God's best? Shock and disappointment were but a few of our feelings. He is in the same camp as Rev. Robert Schuller who said on Larry King that he believes in "excellence" in all they do. He went on to describe "excellence" as men and women married with children. We have now been told by two infamous religious leaders that our sons can never be excellent or God's best. Ouch. We wrote a very long letter to Rev Schuller regarding his statements on Larry King. Today we wrote to Joel Osteen about his comments. We encourage anyone else who is motivated to do the same. I can understand why GLBTs turn their back on organized religion when they hear things such as this. Paul and I subscribe to Desmond Tutu's statement - "God knew you before you were born; no one is a mistake." Nothing will alter our thinking on this because the God we know and love and who loves us unconditionally would never turn his back on his own creation. It doesn't make sense.

What do you think? Respond to our blog about your feelings on this.

Ready or Not at Northwest Education Association Conference

It was a great two days at the Northwest Education Association (NWEA) conference in Eau Claire. We presented three times and had a booth in the vendor area. We hope our presence had an impact with the school personnel represented at the conference. We had a great time and had meaningful discussions with many educators in the area.

Now, here are the questions for you. Has your workplace or school provided training for you on GLBT issues in the workplace? If not, should they? Should it be mandatory for all? Are you in compliance with the Safe School Law? If you are a business, have you ever discriminated on the basis of gender orientation or identity? Let's have a discussion - join our blog!!

A visit with University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire Staff and Students

David Gardner, LGBTQ Program Coordinator from the Women's and Gender Equity Center at the University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire, did a fantastic job advertising our presentation at the Davies Center on the evening of October 7. We exceeded 100 people in the audience who asked great questions at the end of our presentation. One group in attendance was a material selection class. We shared with them the importance of having GLBT material in schools and public libraries and our fear that librarians/media specialists may use self-censorship because of the controversial nature of GLBT books in general. Remember our blog on the West Bend Public Library controversy? You never know when the challenge will hit your community. Although our book is a recommended title for middle and high school, some media specialists may feel it is just easier not to order it for their library even though our book has only received positive reviews. Or perhaps it won't be used in an educator book club even though we were educators for over 30 years and offer suggestions for schools on how to protect GLBT students and staff.

What is your opinion? Do you think schools will include our title in their library bookshelves or will it just be easier not to order it? Do you have a reasonable amount of books on GLBTs in your media center? Will they use our book or another GLBT title as a staff development tool for educators or continue to ignore the issues of harassment and bullying of our GLBT sons and daughters? We want to hear from you on this.

Wagners visit River Falls United Methodist Church

Sunday was a wonderful day in River Falls, WI. We (Paul, Brad & Hjordy) started our day at the United Methodist Church where our former pastor, Janet Ellinger, inspired us with her prayers and words of wisdom. This was followed by a luncheon and our story in the context of a welcoming church. We estimate the crowd at around 50 or more. Paul and I hope we were able to inspire new thinking. We learn from our audience every time we give a presentation. Yesterday was no exception. One of the ideas shared was when and how to be a vocal advocate. For example, is it the right place to say something to someone when you overhear an inappropriate remark about a minority in a restaurant setting? We had some great suggestions on that topic alone. What do you think?

Church members at River Falls showed courage in opening their hearts and minds to the topic of GLBTs in the church setting. We hold a special place in our hearts for Rev. Ellinger and now we know how special her congregation members are.

Best Buy WoLF Invisible Diversity Presentation in Vegas

We were honored to be a part of Best Buy WoLF (Women in Leadership Forum) Conference in Las Vegas on August 11 and 12. There were 3,000 attendees at MGM Grand. It was an incredible experience watching that many people served by MGM staff at breakfast, lunch and dinner. They are amazing!

Paul and I presented a portion of the presentation on Invisible Diversity with the Corporate Diversity Team. We had around 100 Best Buy employees attend our session. It was met with great enthusiasm and a lot of questions and comments following the formal presentations. We were honored to have a longer visit later in the day with a talented Best Buy employee who shared his personal journey with us. We felt privileged that he trusted us enough to share his journey. We wish him and all of our Best Buy friends the best in the future. We feel a special bond with Best Buy and hope to continue our relationship with their very committed Diversity Team.

Fireside Book Signing in West Bend WI

There was a lot of speculation about our visit to the Fireside Bookstore in West Bend, WI. We weren't nervous about it but we can't say it wasn't on our minds. We walked into the store to see a perfect setting for a large group who wanted to listen to authors. We set up the equipment and were ready to go. We were pleasantly surprised to see every seat filled with many standing. Everyone was attentive and asked important questions throughout our Q/A segment. Before the questions ran out, we had to stop so those interested in an autographed copy could be on their way. We were in the bookstore for about two hours. We joined Dennis and others for lunch at Panara. We found out later that our book signing had the largest turnout of any author visits in the store's 15 year history. We felt we made a positive impact on our West Bend friends and hope to visit this welcoming community again.

Fox 6 News Wakeup in Milwaukee - Interview

Okay, okay....No link showed up. The link was directed to our blog but something didn't work. Here is the direct link so you can view it.

http://www.fox6now.com/videobeta/watch/?watch=c30e2419-14ab-4bcd-9d8d-031b2215bcb9&src=front

Interview Link for Fox 6 Wake-Up in Milwaukee

Here you go - hope you enjoy it:

In-Studio Interview with Kim Murphy - FOX 6 Wake-Up

We are in Milwaukee and the interview is over. It was quick - about 3 1/2 - 4 minutes with Kim Murphy. Prior to the interview we waited until called, were escorted to the studio, put on our mics, seated ourselves, and waited for Kim. She was a great person and very easy to converse with. She asked about our story and also about our visit to West Bend. The interview was so short we couldn't mess it up too much!! We felt comfortable with the questions and our responses. Next stop - West Bend Fireside Book Store on Saturday at 10:30. We look forward to it!!

Eau Claire Introduced to Ready or Not...They're Gay

At last - the fine folks of Eau Claire were introduced to our story, Ready or Not...They're Gay and our Ready or Not...Let's Talk Conversation cards. On July 15 Borders hosted around 40 people at their Eau Claire store for an author talk and book signing. An hour of Q & A passed quickly followed by a short introduction to our Let's Talk cards on GLBT topics. It was a great night with old and new friends from the Chippewa Valley. Below are the media links around the book signing event and our book.

Eau Claire WI Leader Telegram News Article:
http://www.leadertelegram.com/story-news.asp?id=BKI96AUHKTH
WEAU TV 13 Interview with Judy Clark:
http://www.weau.com/interviews/headlines/50852627.html
Volume I Magazine: article coming in August issue
http://volumeone.org/magazine/articles/707/Proud_Parents.html/page/1
Maverick Radio Interview – Interview complete (30 minutes) – waiting for the tape

Pride Rochester 2009

Yes, I know. We just did the post on Pride Twin Cities. I am a little behind on our postings! Rochester Pride was very different than Twin Cities Pride. Compare 200,000 people to 400 people. Rochester was more personal and relaxed. We had a chance to talk with participants for a longer period of time. We didn't need to choose where to eat because there was only one food vendor and I might add, their food was excellent! The entertainment was great. The mayor read a proclamation and meandered around the park. We didn't meet him but we were impressed that he made an intentional appearance at the event. The vendors were only there for 5 hours but it was quality time on a beautiful day in a shaded park downtown Rochester. If you are in that area next year, make an effort to attend. You'll enjoy it.

Pride Twin Cities 2009

What a weekend. This was our second Pride Festival. We attended last year to help at the Target booth with Brad. This year we were one of the vendors. We came prepared with our table, special Ready or Not tablecloth and T-Shirts, crayon and Border balloon give-aways, our book and Let's Talk Conversation Cards. Oh no, rain and wind on the first day. Thank goodness we had a tent cover. Okay, everything is set and we were ready. Where are the people? We were tucked behind the Target booth in the children and family section and it seemed that a lot of people missed seeing us. We were told by Pride organizers we could move to a better location. We took them up on that offer the next day and saw far more traffic. Was it a successful weekend for us? Not by the cost of the event and our sales but meeting the good people at the Festival was well worth it. It is at events like this that we know our mission has impact on others and the message in our book is needed in communities everywhere. Marketing remains our biggest challenge. You can't help others if they don't know about your book.

The Friday before Pride we were privileged to present our book and Let's Talk cards to some team members at Best Buy Corporation in Bloomington. We enjoyed seeing the Best Buy campus which was welcoming and friendly. A big thanks to Best Buy for the invitation and for asking us to present in Las Vegas at WoLF in August.

All for now - hope you enjoy our updates.

Ready or Not Book Launch Party Recap

Ready or Not...

The mission of the Ready or Not...They're Gay Book Launch Party was to provide:

- A memorable experience
- A night of inspiration
- A call for action

The Experience

May 21, 2009 will be remembered as a night filled with the loving support of our family, friends and community.

We want to thank the over 420 attendees, event planners, entertainers, speakers and sponsors for their overall contribution to the evening. A special thank you to The Firm, Evolution, Borders, PFLAG, Beyond Chocolates and the W Hotel Minneapolis for their partnership; this would not have been the evening it was without their support. Additionally, Victoria, Darrin, Belladiva, Soul 2 Soul Dance Conversion, Esera Tualo and Candi Stratton took it out of the park with their performances. Thank you all!

How did this all happen? An amazing event team of Mark Schultz, Brooke Jordan, Marie McKay and Rich Gonzales spent four months of their spare time in an effort to make this a night to remember. In addition, 22 volunteers ensured all of the details were taken care of so all went well for our guests. Thank you!

Are you ready to go back to this beautiful night? Click Here for a video recap of the evening. We would love to hear your comments and feedback. Kudos to Life Image LLC for their talent in recreating the amazing evening for you to enjoy time and time again.

For those who attended, are you ready to see your sassy self in a photo? The talented Toby Sprague captured the evening in still photos that you can view, download and have printed for a nominal cost. Click his name above, click client access, select Ready or Not, and enter your email address; all the photos will magically appear for your review.

Inspiration

The heartfelt stories shared by Todd Savage, Deb LeMay, Carol Curoe, Gary Mazzone and the always entertaining Doug Melroe gave insight and inspiration to the future of GLBT acceptance. Thank you for your courage to publicly share your stories. Do you want another good read? Carol Curoe's book, Are There Closets in Heaven, can be purchased on Amazon.com.

A call to action: You may ask, “What's next for Hjordy & Paul Wagner?” The answer is exciting - more book signings and a Ready or Not Road Tour of the U.S.A. Wait until you hear about this! :)

Friday, June 19th, 7:00 pm: Rosedale Borders Book Signing & Meet/Greet
866 Rosedale Center
Roseville, MN 55113

Saturday, June 20th, 1:00 pm: Richfield Borders Book Signing & Meet/Greet
800 West 78th Street
Richfield, MN 55423

Note: Are you in the Cities June 19 and 20? Email us for a voucher which entitles you to 15% off your purchases at Borders and is good for the entire weekend of June 19th - June 21st. The proceeds (15%) will go to support PFLAG St. Paul Minneapolis. Time to shop!!!

And, more appearances at:

Saturday, June 21, 2:00 pm: PFLAG Presentation - bring your friends and family!Mayflower United Church
106 E Diamond Lake Road
Minneapolis, MN 55419

Saturday and Sunday, June 27th and 28th, 10:00 am -5:00 pm:
Twin Cities Pride
Loring Park
Minneapolis, MN

The Ready or Not booth is next to the Target booth in the Children & Family area. There will be book signings, a children's activity, and drawing each day for a Border's gift card. Thanks, Borders!

Can't make any of the appearances but still want to buy the book? No problem, just visit Borders.com to buy the book online.

Ready or Not...Road Trip
You heard it right, Hjordy & Paul are going On he Road Across the U.S.A.

You know the mission, we have heard your voice of encouragement, and now it is time that we get the message out to the rest of the country. Their focus through September will be in the tri-state area of MN, WI and IA.

Starting in October, Hjordy and Paul will begin the first leg of the U.S. tour traveling west. There are 3 legs to this tour. We will share more with you as our plans develop.

How you can help...We will be circling back with you in the upcoming weeks once we have the Ready Or Not Road Trip Itinerary. In the meantime, please let us know if there is a city in the U.S. that needs our special attention.

Thank you again for your support, love and encouragement!

For more information on Hjordy & Paul Wagner and their upcoming events, please visit:

Website: http://www.readyornotstories.com/
Facebook Fan Page: Keyword: Ready or Not or Click Here
Email: readyornotstories@gmail.com

Here are the direct links for this blog:

Book Launch Video Recap: www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_kOQlLLpvw&feature=channel_page
The Firm: http://www.thefirmmpls.com/
Evolution: http://www.evolutionhair.com/
Borders: http://www.borders.com/
PFLAG: http://www.pflagtc.org/
Beyond Chocolates: http://www.beyondchocolates.com/
W Hotel Minneapolis: http://www.whotels.com/
Belladiva: http://www.belladivamusic.com/
Soul 2 Soul Dance Conversion: http://www.facebook.com/ Keyword: Terry Kuehn
Esera Tualo: http://www.eseraonline.com/
Candi Stratton: www.candistratton.com/
Life Image LLC: http://www.lifeimagellc.com/
Toby Sprague: http://www.tobysprague.coma/
re There Closets in Heaven: http://www.amazon.com/ Keyword: Are There Closets In Heaven?Facebook Fan Page: www.facebook.com/pages/Ready-Or-Not/73973854351

Thank you,

Hjordy & Paul Wagner

Book Expo America was Unbelievable!

We (Paul, Hjordy and Brad) don't need much of an excuse to go to New York so when we had the opportunity to have an author package for Book Expo America (BEA) from Phenix and Phenix, our publicist, we jumped on it. The first and last part of our week was fun time. We went to some plays and a few daytime talk shows when we weren't busy with BEA. We were in the audience of The Mike & Juliet Show and were sorry to hear that the show was closing.

The first day we went to BEA we were overwhelmed with the sheer volume of people and booths. We talked with some vendors and just walked the area. We left feeling we hadn't been too productive. After debriefing about the day, we decided the next day (Saturday), we would hand out bookmarks and cards to book store owners, librarians, and teachers. The strategy served us well. We heard a lot of good feedback about our book and stories were shared about someone they knew who was gay. The stories were sad, surprising, and heartwarming. At 1:30 we took our place in booth 16 and had a solid line of people waiting for their book and signature. Our strategy worked. All of our books disappeared with people standing in line wanting our book.

One young man broke our heart. He didn't speak English very well but the essence of his story was his family had shunned him. There was no communication from his family over the past year. He wanted our book with the hope that his family would see a different point of view and accept him for who he is.

After the author signing, we went to the podcast area. We answered questions for about 5 minutes. The interviewer was great and we left with a sigh of relief. We continued to network but we also decided it was time for us to get some of those coveted author signatures. We ended up sending a box of books home, or so we thought. Our box ended up in Deleware. All was not lost, however, because the man who had our books told us his story. He didn't want to be defined as the homophobic guy. He became friends with a gay man and he saw that he was wonderful person. He is now on the aother end of the spectrum as a strong advocate. We met and talked with the most amazing people since our book has come out. He was one of those amazing men.

Sunday at BEA was slow. The volume of people was diminished so we had time to talk with the exhibitors. It was relaxing and fun. We left around noon to meet the sons of our good friends in Red Wing. We don't know if we'll be at Book Expo again but it was a learning experience and we will hopefully come back in the near future.

Book Launch Celebration: May 21, 2009 at the W Hotel

Where to start.... On May 21, 2009, Paul and I had one of the most memorable evenings of our life. We had a sold out crowd with 400 registered guests. Brad had assembled a planning committee and group of volunteers that totalled over 30 people. In addition to that, there were all the people from the W Hotel making the evening special for our guests. This event will be viewed forever through the eyes of our photographer who took over 400 photos of the evening and a videographer who captured the essence of every aspect of the evening. We will share that with you when it is completed.

The guest speakers who shared their personal stories with our guests were moving. There were tears in the audience. Paul and I weren't sure if the lump in our throat would go away before we were behind the podium. Our boys spoke prior to us and we could not have been more proud of them. The Emcee of the evening was absolutely fabulous. He had just enough humor and was extremely prepared for every transition with just the right introduction. Paul and I shared our remarks with the crowd. Paul brought down the house with his golfer joke. We were humbled by the turnout and warm words of support we received from our guests. It was amazing.

And then the celebration became an out and out PARTY! The Belladivas turned up the energy with their wonderful singers and band. They definitely earned their award as the best group of the Twin Cities area. Esera Tuaolo sang two wonderful songs followed by Candi Stratton with her Cher impersonation. The evening ended with the Belladivas rocking the house. The room was still full of energy with people lingering after the last song was sung. It was a true celebration of diversity where everyone could be themselves and feel good about who they are.

A huge thank you goes to Brad and his committee for putting the details together and making this the best party ever! I am sure there has never been a book launch like this one......